A Funeral For Lucille
by redheadbombshell
Summary: Nick says goodbye to a dear friend. Rated T for occasional language.


A Funeral For Lucille

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or things I have blatantly taken from the plot! CBS Does!

Sara walked into the corridor, headed for the trace lab with her sample. She was having a relatively good day, considering the fact that she was surrounded by dead bodies for the past six hours. Catherine had brought her lunch from her favorite little hole-in-the-wall Italian place, Grissom actually let her pick her assignment so she wouldn't get stuck with another ridiculous B&E for the third time this week, and she was wearing her favorite pants. It simply could not get any better than this. She peeked her head in the doorway and saw Hodges gesture her in. She handed off her sample, actually managed to not get in a fight with him, and continued to the auto garage where her and Nick were set to totally tear apart a car in about fifteen minutes. That was her favorite. She got to get on her jumpsuit, get dirty and tear up things, which was a great stress relief. She hadn't had the best week she could possibly have, but it was not her worst by far. She counted her blessings that today was Friday and she had an actual sanctioned, scheduled weekend off. She didn't know how well it would hold up, though. Sometimes on one of her days off, a high profile case popped up and the team needed all the man, well, womanpower in her case, they could get. She was fine with that though, she just really wished people would quit dying on her days off.

Nick was already checking under the hood, grinning at all the fun toys he was going to get to play with, when Sara walked in and slid on her jumpsuit, pulled her hair back and put on her safety goggles. She studied Nick for a few moments. His big hands were gripping the sides as his dark brown eyes gazed over the brand new, shiny parts in the vehicle they were about to completely destroy to look for evidence. He smiled to himself, wishing he could afford a shiny beauty like this, however, he worked for the county and it was all he could do to beg Sara not to turn on the saw and start hacking it to pieces. He whistled and shook his head. "Man, G-force radial slicks, a six-cylinder engine, leather interior, heated seats, nine cupholders and a TV in the steering wheel. Do we have to tear it up Sara? Can't we just, I don't know, carefully inspect two or three times before we have to resort to violence against a dream ride I could never afford?" He looked up at her, a pleading stare in those big, brown, puppy dog eyes. He got a very sad look on his face as he gently lowered the hood, stroking her bright, shiny candy apple red paint. "I'm sorry Lucille. You were a good car. A car I could never afford even if I saved up every penny I owned." Sara actually saw a tear in his eye as he leaned down and kissed the hood. "It's a damn shame you had to go like this. You're the prettiest GTO I have ever layed eyes on." He wiped his eyes and picked up one of the saws. "Alright Sara... if we're going to do it, let's do it quick. I've already said my goodbyes. Hurry before I change my mind and lose my job."

Sara smiled and rubbed Nick's back. "You want to formally say a few words, big guy?" She couldn't believe he'd only been in there for five minutes and already had not only a name picked out for an inanimate object, but he was stroking the hood like he was saying goodbye to a dead lover. He nodded and put down the saw, laying the top half of his body on the hood, hugging the car with all his might. "You want me to go get everyone, fella?" Nick nodded and held onto Lucille with all his might. "Alright Nick, I'll be back." He stood up and grabbed Sara into a strong hug. "Thank you Sara...for giving Mrs. Lucille Stokes the funeral I always imagined she deserved. You're a good woman, Sara. A good woman." He let her out of his embrace, but still held on to her arms. Before she had time to leave to get Nick off her arms, Nick pulled her close and gave her another bear hug.

She rolled her eyes as he finally released her. She walked down the corridor toward Grissom's office and peeked her head in. "Meeting in the auto garage... we need everyone, lab techs included, Nick's holding a funeral for Lucille. Ah hell, get Brass and Sophia too while you're at it. And don't skimp out on me, I have a feeling Nick's going to be taking a roll call before we commend Lucille to that big Test Drive in the Sky." She walked down the hall, then a thought occured to her and she ran back to Grissom's office. "Oh! And just, FYI, this was not my idea... but Nick can't destroy the car until he gets to say goodbye. Just saying."

Grissom's eyebrow raised curiously as an expression of amusement spread across his face. "Lucille? Would that be the car in the auto garage you're about to rip to shreds?" Sara nodded. "Mm-hmm. I see. Is this absolutely positively imperative in order to get the work done that I need?" Sara rolled her eyes and nodded. "Alright... I'll go around and round everyone up. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we collect our evidence and we solve our case." He rounded up all his CSI's, his lab techs, even Ecklie who sneered and slapped his forehead when he heard what he was being called into the auto garage for. Grissom just stood there and shook his head while cleaning his glasses. "I know Conrad, but the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can move on. You want the case solved so you can continue to appease the sherriff and the press right?" Ecklie nodded and began chewing on his apple thoughtfully. "Good. Well, let's move it on out so we can take it apart and get going."

Nick watched everyone file into the auto garage and saw mixtured looks of confusion and surprise. While Grissom was rounding up the troops so to speak, Nick had time to change into a dark suit and ask Sara to change into the dressy black pantsuit she always wore to court when she had to give a presentation of evidence. She even decided to go to the extra mile and fix her hair, borrow some pearls from Catherine and some big, square Jackie Kennedy-style glasses. She stood beside Nick, trying to look as solemn and pained as he did, all the while trying not to laugh at the big huge production he was making out of a car. She had recruited Greg to order a huge horseshoe of red roses with a banner across it that read "in memory of Lucille." Even he had dressed up in a suit for the occasion, but only because Sara had let him in on what was going on. Grissom nearly lost his composure in a fit of laughter when he saw both Nick and Sara. They looked like two people in their mid thirties who's beloved parent had just died. He could not believe Nick would do this for a car, and that Sara would actually enable him to do it. But then again, he was an enabler as well... if he hadn't made everyone show up, there'd be no funeral, but alas, there he stood.

Sara placed a comforting hand on Nick's shoulder. "Want me to take roll?" He nodded solemnly as he dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief pulled from the pocket of his suit. "Alright. Gil Grissom?" A hand was raised and she saw him trying to fight a smile. If she was not going to laugh, she could not look at him the entire time he was standing there. She didn't want to hurt Nick's feelings after all the trouble he, okay she, had gone through to put this thing together. "Catherine Willows?" Another hand raised and she saw Catherine eye her and mouth "What in the world is this about?" After mouthing, "you'll see," she decided to continue on with the roll call. "Gregory Sanders?" He raised his hand and pretended to wipe tears from his eyes. She cracked a smile. Damn. Good thing Nick didn't see her. He was too busy crying. She went through the entire lab of people before setting down her list and hugging Nick. "They're all here honey, I think we can start."

Nick cleared his throat, walked to the front of the car and eyed the crowd before he pulled out the speech he had spent an entire half hour writing for his beloved Lucille. "Friends and coworkers, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a beloved friend, Lucille Betsy Stokes." Grissom covered his face with his hands as he lowered his head. Nick was actually serious about this, he really, really should not laugh. He raised his head again as Nick continued on with his prepared eulogy. "She was a good car and led a very...very..." Nick wiped his eyes again as Sara rubbed his back and told him everything would be alright. He sniffled and raised the paper so he could continue reading. "A very fulfilled, long life. She started out in a factory, nothing more than a few pieces of scrap metal, some parts, and a dream. She was customized with candy apple red paint, G-force radial slicks, a six-cylinder engine, a transmission system to die for, heated seats, nine cup holders, a massage setting, a combination CD/mp3 player and a TV in the steering wheel. By the time Lucille had reached completion, she was no longer a mere pile of metal. She was a brand new shiny GTO. I knew I had fallen for Lucille the first time I saw her. I ran my hands along her smooth, freshly waxed paint job, heard the purr of her engine and I knew... I knew..." he dabbed his eyes again and shakily held his eulogy in his hands, trying his best to finish the speech so he could break down and cry. "I knew she was the only girl for me. The hour and a half I had spent with Lucille seemed to others such a short time, but to me, it was an eternity. I will love her until I draw my last breath and I... and I thank you all for coming to say your goodbyes to my friend, my love, my dream girl, Lucille. It is a total shame she has to go this way, but one day, when I pass, God willing she and I will be sharing an eternity together going 85 miles an hour down the freeway, windows down, radio up, experiencing the bond of true love every man experiences with the car of his dreams. Goodbye Lucille."

Everyone wondered why Nick had gone through all the trouble to prepare a funeral for a car he hadn't seen before today. It was just a piece of evidence, just like every other car that rolled through the auto garage. In fact, it was probably their main crime scene and it had to be torn apart to look for small specks of blood and hopefully other helpful pieces of evidence. Nick slid off his jacket, removed his tie and pulled on his jumpsuit. "I would like to thank everyone for coming out. Lucille, I know one day, on that big Highway in the Sky your greatness and craftsmanship will be appreciated. I'm very very sorry to have to do this to you." Everyone filed out of the auto garage, Catherine and Warrick wondering whether or not he had lost his damned mind, Grissom finally glad that things were returning to normal and the evidence could finally be processed, Greg left the funeral wondering why he did not go to more occasions where formal attire was considered appropriate because he thought he looked damn good in a suit, and everyone else stayed in a constant state of confusion regarding what the hell had just happened. The auto garage door shut, and it was time to send Lucille to Car Heaven. Nick had finally made his peace with the death of his beloved Lucille.


End file.
